Exhortations - Part 1 | Hebrews 13:1-6 | July 26, 2026
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[00:00:00] Uh, if you'll take your Bibles and turn to Hebrews 13. Uh, we've been doing a series on the book of Hebrews, and we are on the final chapter
I don't know how to take that. No. Um, please stand. Uh, we're gonna read the word. We're gonna read the first six verses And I would ask that you hear this for what it is, the words of the one true God. Hebrews chapter thirteen, the first six verses. Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.
Remember the prisoners as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves are in the body. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be [00:01:00] undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have, for he himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you," so that we confidently say, "The Lord is my helper.
I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?" May God add a blessing to the reading, the hearing, and again, most importantly, obedience to his word. Please be seated
John MacArthur, I don't know if this was, uh, uh, in a sermon. You can find it on his website, but this was certainly an address, and the topic of the address was on sermon application. And this is something that, uh, I've known for a long time. It's something that I've tried to, uh, model, uh, a bit how I preach.
Um, [00:02:00] but I'm just gonna read you his words. He says, "Through the years, there's been kind of a running discussion about how to preach, and when you preach, and what you should say, and how you should say it. But I want you to understand what I think should happen in effective biblical preaching." And just so you know, I'm not reading every word.
I'm skipping some words, but I can give you the link. In fact, I'll include the link, uh, in my email tomorrow, and you can, you can read it all in context. I think I'm being very fair, um, because I agree with him, so why would I wanna twist his words? But in, in John's, Pastor MacArthur's words, he says, "When you preach, you do explanation.
In other words, you explain the meaning of Scripture. The explanation carries with it implication, and to that you add exhortation." Now, here's my paraphrase, my paraphrase of his next paragraph. [00:03:00] Application will only connect with so many people. No one knows all of your unique and specific situation except for the Holy Spirit.
So basically, what Dr. MacArthur is saying is he tries to explain the text. He doesn't do a lot of application, and people have noticed that. He's actually been critiqued over it. He continues, "Application belongs to the Spirit of God, and I am interest-- what I am interested in is explanation and its implications."
What's fascinating about chapter 13 in the book of Hebrews is the author actually brings out the implications of what he's been teaching for the first 12 chapters. And you've heard me say this before, I'll say it again today, right doctrine leads to right living. And it's interesting because at the very end of this chapter, at the very end of the book, he'll refer to it as a word of exhortation.
And I haven't shared this with you, but [00:04:00] there are those who think that the book of Hebrews is probably a sermon, a sermon that had an introduction added to it and a conclusion added to it. So it, it, it can sound like an epistle, but maybe it was a homily. Maybe it was this long sermon, but he refers to it as a, a word of exhortation.
In your bulletin handouts, uh, there's a half sheet. There's a fill-in-the-blank sermon outline. On the back of it, there's some more information. There's some Bible verses. Uh, but one of the things that's on the back of it is I've given you an outline of chapter 13. You can look at that on your own later. But number one on your sermon outline is love and hospitality.
Love and hospitality. And kids, the first two verses are, uh, in your handout for fill-in-the-blank, but the first verse only has three words in the Greek. But in English, we translate it, "Let love of the brethren continue." Let love of the brethren continue. And what does he mean by let love of the brethren? And the [00:05:00] first thing that I want to point out to you is the word that's translated love of the brethren is the word Philadelphia.
So it's philos adelphos, love of the brethren. He doesn't use the word agape, and for some people that's surprising, but not if you understand the distinctions in the words And this command to love your brother comes from Jesus, we find it in Paul, we find it in Luke, we find it in Peter, we find it throughout the entirety of the New Testament.
And this word translator, this word philos in the Greek, it means a special interest. It means an affection. In fact, one Greek scholar said, "In the New Testament, it is used distinctly of physically unrelated members of the Christian family." So it is an affection for, it is a day-to-day how do you treat your fellow brother, your fellow sister in Christ.
Where the Greek word agape, and it's used often, uh, John commands us, and he uses that word, but agape is [00:06:00] an unconditional... And I'm sorry, it's not unconditional love, it's sacrificial love, and we've talked about this before. And a lot of people, it's very common in the church today to say that agape means unconditional love.
You're not gonna find that in scripture. The only unconditional love that you will find in scripture is Trinitarian, the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. All other forms of love have conditions. The covenant comes with conditions. So agape is sacrificial love. But what the author is commanding us to do is to care for one another, to be concerned with one another, to be interested in one another.
And here's where, uh, I hope, uh, this will be helpful to you, but what the author is going to do is he's going to start applying his theology. He's going to start applying his theology. Every one of these exhortations is an application of his theology. So here's my question for you. [00:07:00] Why are we brothers?
We're not physically related. We're not related by marriage. Why does the Bible call us brothers? Why does the Bible call us a family? Why does the Bible call us brothers and sisters and treat us as a family? And I would submit to you it is because of the incarnation of Christ, and what the author here is doing is, pardon the pun, fleshing out the implications of the theology of Christ's incarnation.
The second person of the Godhead became a man, and because He became a man, we are brothers, we are sisters, we are a family. And the author of Hebrews has talked about the implications specifically in chapter two. Let me just read you a section. In Hebrews 2:14-16, "Therefore, since the children," God refers to us as children, "Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself," speaking of Jesus, "He [00:08:00] Himself likewise partook of the same."
That through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and that He might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. And this next line is very important. For assuredly, He does not give help to angels. The follow, the fallen angels are condemned and there's no hope of salvation.
For assuredly, He does not give help to angels, but He gives help to the seed of Abraham. He gives help to you and me. He gives help to those whom He took on their nature. He assumed our flesh. He assumed our physical weaknesses so that He could go to the cross and He could die on our behalf. So when the writer of Hebrews says, "Let love of the brethren continue," it is because of the incarnation of Christ, and oftentimes we overlook that in Protestant theology.[00:09:00]
You see, Orthodox theology actually makes a big deal of the incarnation. I think they go way too far because it, it gets into icons and praying to saints and things like that, but Protestants, we tend to not give it enough space. But it's because Jesus became incarnate that we are related as family. And literally what he says in here is, "Let the love of the brethren continue," ongoing.
Don't let it fall to the side. And I think the Apostle Paul does a really good job in the book of Philippians in showing us what that means. So you don't need to turn there, but if you're taking notes, Philippians 2:3-4, "Do nothing from selfishness," from s- s- self-ambition, self-seeking. The word also means strife because selfishness causes strife among brothers.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit." And this idea of empty conceit [00:10:00] is an exaggerated opinion of yourself, and if we're honest, we all have it I think I'm better than I really am. I think I'm better looking than I really am. I think I'm smarter than I really am. I think my importance should become your importance.
We have an exaggerated view of ourselves, but Paul warns us, "Do nothing from selfish- selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind." Literally, that word means modesty, with modesty, with lowliness. "Regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but for the interests of others."
And what I want to point out is Paul is not saying, nor should we think, that everyone around us is more important than we are, but we should treat them that way. We're not to look at ourselves as if I have no [00:11:00] self-worth, I have no self-value, I have no self-importance. That's not what the Bible presents. You are so important that Jesus Christ took you to the cross with Him.
Jesus Christ died on the cross for you. He loved you that much, and if your value is found in Jesus Christ, that is significant. But Paul uses a word, and it means to think. It means to use logic. It means to just, I'm going to treat the person next to me as if they are far superior than I am, as if their needs are more concerning than my needs.
What would the church look like if we really did that? What would your family look like if we treated our spouses that way?
You see, we are brothers in Christ. We are brothers to one another because of the incarnation of Christ. I will never forget it. I was [00:12:00] standing behind my little brother, and he took a stick, and we were on a side of a hill, we were halfway up the hill, and he took a stick, and he just, he poked this stick in a random hole.
And the next thing I knew, he was screaming and running, and I'm just sitting there watching him, and all of a sudden it dawned on me, if he's running, I should probably be running. So then I ran after him, and come to find out, he got to my grandparents', we were at my grandparents' house, and my grandfather probably pulled a couple dozen yellow jackets off of his scalp.
And then of course I got the residual yellow jackets and was stung I don't know how many times. But it taught me a lesson. Never take a stick and stick it in a random hole. And to this day, I guarantee you I've never done that. Okay? Why do I tell that story? Because I want to make some application here, and I'm going to try to make some application from the Book of Proverbs on these various things that the writer talks about.
And I [00:13:00] just want to warn you, it might sting a bit. It might sting. But it's good to be stung every once in a while. Let the love of the brethren continue. How can we apply that here in this congregation? How can we apply that on a Sunday morning? And I just want to visit a topic that I haven't visited in a while, but I think we need to readdress, and that is kids in church.
I've shared with you that kids will always be in our worship service. Kids will never be relegated somewhere else during worship. I'm not saying we'll never have a Sunday school or something along those lines, but it will be before or after the service. We will worship as I believe Scripture intended us to worship, as families And this is rare, and it's unique.
And I'm just gonna be straight up honest with you. There are people that have visited and have left because we don't offer a nursery, we don't offer a Sunday school. I can tell you horror [00:14:00] stories about Sunday school. I can tell you the time that Stacy and I found out that our son's Sunday school teacher wasn't even a believer.
And we found that out because he had been arrested the day before. That was the last time we sent our kids to a Sunday school class or to a nursery. We will never have a Sunday school class here. We'll, um, during service, we will never have a nursery here. But if we're going to expect our kids to sit through service, we need to expect a few things.
It's going to be louder than some church services. There's going to be some squirming and, and moving around, but that doesn't mean that we're not supposed to train our kids. So the first application, and this is a general application, is we need to train our kids. Are you taking time during the week to train your kids to sit through service?
And it's, it's interesting 'cause I, I've, I've talked to some parents, not here, but I've talked to some parents that are like, "My kids [00:15:00] couldn't sit through service." And yet I've seen those same kids sit through a 90-minute cartoon movie and not make a peep The general principle of the book of Proverbs is found in Proverbs chapter 1 verse 4.
And oftentimes we look at this verse as if it's the purpose of Proverbs, and it is the purpose of the Proverbs, but it's also explaining the need for the Proverbs. And this is what Solomon writes. He's writing down these proverbs. Why? To give prudence to the naive, to the youth, knowledge, and discretion.
And remember, in the wisdom literature, we have this Hebrew parallelism. So when he speaks of the naive, it's the same as the youth. Proverbs were written for young children, especially the first eight chapters. They are a parenting manual. And yes, they apply to adults, the Proverbs, but we want to teach them when they're young.
We want to teach them when they're naive. And this word for [00:16:00] naive means simple, foolish. It means immature. It, it means ignorant. Our children are born into this world ignorant. Later in Proverbs, in Proverbs 22 verse 15, uh, Solomon calls them foolish. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child. Our kids are born sinful, and this word for foolishness is not a mental stupidity, but a sinful stupidity.
The default character of our children when they are born into this world is to sin. And so the Proverbs is to give prudence, wisdom, guile to our children. And so in general, we should be training our children. And in, and you cannot expect your child to sit through a church service if that doesn't begin at home, if there's not some kind of room time, some kind of quiet time, some type of time during homeschool that they would sit through 30 to 45 minutes.[00:17:00]
Self-control. We can teach our children self-control. Listen to Luke chapter 2 verse 52. "And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men." Jesus grew in wisdom. Now, Jesus wasn't born sinful. Jesus wasn't born tainted with original sin, but He still needed to grow in wisdom. He still needed to grow in godliness or knowledge.
And so we should be teaching our kids those things. He grew in wisdom and stature, and stature just means age or physical development. But here's what I find fascinating, "And in favor with God and men." And what that means is Jesus was liked. As a boy growing up, Jesus was liked. So I want to ask you a hard question.
Do people like your kids? Have you ever asked somebody? And let me just be [00:18:00] honest with you, because my experience is if people don't like your kids, it's not their fault
We need to teach our children to honor the aged. In Leviticus 19:32, "You shall rise up before the gray-headed and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God. I am the Lord." Now, none of us want to admit that we're aged, but this verse helps us out. If you have hair like mine or grayer, you're old, okay? The last time we had a potluck, we always follow what we call the order of honor, and I made the announcement up here that we're gonna start with the older folks, and then we'll, we'll trickle down.
I'll, I'll lay it out for you in just a minute. And apparently, nobody wanted to admit they were old, because afterwards somebody came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to give an age." Okay? So here's the age. If [00:19:00] you're 60 years old or older, you're old, okay? And that applies to me, so if it hurts, I feel it just as bad, okay?
But our kids are to learn to honor the aged, and that the order of service that we'll follow is we start with the aged, we start with those who are older, and then moms get to go. And when moms go, they take the little ones with them. But let me tell you something I've noticed, not just here, but almost every church that I've seen do this.
Moms go, mom's got three or four kids, they're juggling five or six plates, and dad's visiting with the guys Just because the moms get to go with the little ones doesn't mean dads aren't supposed to help. You're just not allowed to get food. After moms, then the dads go, then the little girls go, and last but not least, young men, boys, you get to go last.
Why? Because Jesus wants you to grow up to be a leader, and leader means [00:20:00] sacrifice. And leadership is not always fun. It's simply not. Sometimes it's really hard work, and you need to learn at a very young age that someday you're gonna put your wife and you're gonna put your children ahead of yourself, so you get to go last Proverbs chapter 3 verse 3 says this, "Do not let kindness and truth leave you.
Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablets of your heart." Are you teaching your kids to be kind? And what would that look like in church on a Sunday morning? It was interesting, but years and years ago when our kids were really little, we had a couple share something with us, and it was very humbling because they were actually younger than we were.
But one of the things they told us is before we let our kids go play after service, they have to find at least two adults, older adults, and ask them a question. That's kindness. That's teaching our kids to honor the aged. Here's another way that we can teach our kids to [00:21:00] honor the aged. No running in church.
We need to teach our kids they shouldn't be running in church. Because for an older person who maybe is a little frail, who maybe occasionally uses a walker or a cane, a running child is frightening. It's scary. But we need to be careful how we treat our kids because you don't want to tell your kids, "Never run in church."
You want to explain what you're talking about. Who knows, someday I may be up here, I may say something, and I might self-combust and start the pulpit on fire. That's time to run in church But all things being equal, kids should not be running in church. Number four, we need to teach our kids to control their tongues.
We need to learn to control our tongues. In Proverbs chapter 8... I'm sorry, Proverbs 10:8, "The wise of heart will receive commands, but the [00:22:00] babbling fool will be ruined." And this Hebrew expression, babbling fool, is literally he who is foolish of lips. So it's a very general command, and it covers all kinds of things.
We need to control our tongue. Here's another verse, Proverbs 27:14, "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." We had this one guy at the fire station, and it didn't matter how late we were up, how many calls we ran, he'd get up in the morning, he'd have a cup of coffee, and he would greet everyone with this booming voice.
I can't tell you how many times we sat down and discussed how we might be able to kill him. Nobody wants that in the morning. We're not all morning people, okay? After church, we should be able to have a conversation. If the kids want to yell, fine, go outside. And nobody's looking for perfection, okay? And I don't want to be a church where [00:23:00] there's a line of parents down the hallway because they're taking their kids back there to correct them, okay?
That begins at home. But if we're to love the brethren, then we need to love the brethren, and we need to do it in very practical ways. Verse two, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." And interestingly, in the Greek, it, you can literally translate it, stop neglecting.
So apparently this congregation used to be really good at hospitality, but for some reason it stopped. And let me preface everything I'm about to say with you are a very hospitable group. I can't tell you how many times visitors have come to me and said, "This is one of the nicest churches I've ever come to.
I couldn't get out the door because people were trying to say hello to me and talk to me and, and welcome me and, and invite me to stay at the potluck or, or whatever you guys were doing." You guys practice hospitality a lot. But interestingly enough, this is [00:24:00] another one of those very important things in Scripture.
In fact, it's a qualification for an elder. If an elder and his family, a man and his family do not practice hospitality, he's disqualified And this word for hospitality, interestingly enough, again, it's the Greek word philas. It is to show special care, special concern to strangers. To love strangers. To love those who are not like you.
Just think about it. After church, who's the first person you go to to talk to? Who should the first person you go to to talk to be? Do you go to those who are like you? Do you go to those that you have a relationship? Do you go to those who you feel comfortable with? Now, I gotta be careful here because when I say this and somebody different comes and talks to you, you're gonna think, "Oh, I must be uncomfortable."
But maybe somebody you don't know. Who do you choose to [00:25:00] talk to? Uh, there's an ancient book, it's, it's called The Didache. It's the teaching of the 12 apostles is, is what it's purported to be. It was written really early in the church, and they applied this passage and this idea of hospitality to traveling preachers, traveling Christians.
And they give some really interesting rules. Like, one of the rules is if you're gonna show hospitality to a traveling preacher, he better have correct doctrine. If he doesn't have right doctrine, you don't show him hospitality. And you only show him hospitality for two days. If he wants to hang on for day three, something's wrong with him, you need to kick him out.
Okay? And for fellow and traveling Christians, you need to take care of their needs, food. And literally the text says food, wine, bread. We need to provide for these people, okay? But what are some applications we find in the Book of Proverbs in terms of hospitality, showing hospitality? Number one, do not oppress strangers.
And that's not really in the Book of, of Proverbs. I [00:26:00] found this in Exodus, in Exodus 23:9. "You shall not oppress a stranger since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you were also strangers in the land of Egypt." And what does the, the writer of Hebrews do throughout this book? He reminds us that we're strangers on earth, all of us.
We're exiles. We're sojourners. And so if we're to practice hospitality, we need to practice hospitality with one another, provide food and shelter. Job says this. Job says, "The alien is not lodged outside, for I have opened my doors to the traveler." Visitor to town? Job took care of him. Proverbs 22:9, "He who is generous will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor."
We need to care for our neighbors. That's biblical hospitality, to care for our neighbors, to love our neighbors, to get to know our neighbors. And if you have non-Christian neighbors, consider [00:27:00] yourself blessed because you get to share the gospel, because they get to see your life. They get to see the difference in how you treat your husband, how your husband treats his wife, how you treat your children, how your children respond to you And so we need to care for our neighbors.
Proverbs 3:29, "Do not deceive. Do not devise harm against your neighbor while he lives securely beside you." And then fourth, God cares for the poor. Do we give to the poor? And part of giving to the poor, and I'll address this later, but part of giving to the poor is giving to the church so that the church can address, can, uh, support missionaries and those who are out doing the work, the missionary work, usually in poorer countries.
But God cares for the poor. "He who oppresses the poor," Proverbs 14:31, "He who oppresses the poor taunts his maker, but he who is gracious to the needy honors him." So how do we practice [00:28:00] hospitality? And again, you guys do a great job. You have somebody over for dinner. You have somebody over for drinks, for dessert, for coffee.
Visit, meet somebody at the park so the kids can play on the monkey bars. Okay? I'll never forget, we, uh, the l- the last reformed church that Stacy and I attended, uh, there was a young, young man, he was a single man, uh, his name was Julius, and he knew how to practice hospitality, and it didn't bother him that he was a single man.
He would literally call up families, families with three to six kids, and say, "I wanna take you guys to a movie. Which movie would you like to see?" And he would literally take those, that family with all of the kids, he would pay for all of the tickets, buy popcorn, whatever the kids want, and he would just serve the family by taking them out.
There were times when he would call families and he would say, "I would like to bring dinner to your house. What is [00:29:00] your favorite restaurant and what do you want?" And he would go and he would buy dinner and he would bring it over Several times he blessed our family. That's hospitality. It's just showing a concern, and it doesn't have to be fancy, and you don't have to worry about your house.
I can't tell you how many women have said, "I don't like practicing hospitality 'cause my house isn't clean." Nobody cares. Put food in front of me, I don't care if your house is dirty
An iced tea, something. Good conversation. Number two on your outline, prisoners and marriage. And you might wonder, what's the connection between prisoners and marriage? Well, isn't it obvious? No, just joking
But again, before, before I get there, I did want to say one more thing about hospitality because as I told you before, God, or the writer of Hebrews is grounding this theology [00:30:00] or this, this practical do this, do that in his theology. God cares for us. God takes care of us. God raised up Moses, it's, it's talked about in Hebrews chapter 3, as a servant in his house to serve his people, to care for his people, to lead his people In Hebrews chapter 11, we're described repeatedly as strangers and exiles.
And throughout the book of Hebrews, but especially we see it in chapter four and chapter 10, we have access to the inner sanctuary of God's house. God has invited us to His house. We will go to the table later today. God is feeding us. God is serving us. God is reminding us. So even hospitality is grounded in good theology.
And in terms of why we should care for prisoners, we are prisoners of sin. And the author of Hebrews has repeatedly told us that. You leave Jesus, you are helpless because in the Old Testament system, the sacrifice had to be formed year after year after year [00:31:00] after year because it didn't work It was supposed to point to something greater.
It was supposed to point for Jesus, and if your faith is not in Jesus Christ, if your faith is not in the coming seed of the woman, the seed of Abraham, if your faith is not in the promised child of Isaiah, the suffering servant of Isaiah, these sacrifices are merely pointers and they do nothing else.
Because we are slaves to sin, our conscience is never clear. So in chapter 13 verse 3 he says, remember the prisoners as though in prison with them. Exercise empathy. Remember the prisoners as though in prison with them and those who are ill-treated. Literally, those who are treated with evil, those who are treated, uh, malevolently.
And this word can even mean torment. And you need to remember the context. Remember the book of Acts. Remember the context. This is written in the mid-60s, and the, the Jews have been persecuting the [00:32:00] church since probably '40s, early '40s, maybe even earlier, and they've been persecuting the church, and they've been ruthless.
Historically, Rome restored capital punishment to the Jewish people so that they could persecute Christians, and now we find ourselves in the mid-60s. Guess what? Nero is now on the scene, and Nero is now persecuting Christians Remember the prisoners as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves are also in the body.
Now, two things on this verse, and I think they're important. I have no problem with prison ministries. I think a prison ministry is a good thing, but we need to understand our Bibles correctly. This is not about a prison ministry. This is about fellow brothers and sisters being thrown into prison because of their faith and their witness, and it's about visiting them.
Now, you can take the principle, and by extension, [00:33:00] you can create a prison ministry. I think that's a great thing, but this is about believers. In Matthew 25, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger. You invited me in. Naked, you clothed me.
Sick, you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me." This is about the church. This is about taking care of the family And it's-- there's this interesting phrase, "Those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves are also in the body." And when I first read this, I thought body, church. We're all members of the church.
But then I started to do, do a deeper dive, and interestingly enough, the writer of Hebrews never uses this word in that sense. He never uses body in terms of the body of Christ. He uses, uh, this word and a couple others seven times, this particular word five times in the book, and every time it refers to either the body of Christ, the physical body of believers.
One time it even refers to the animal bodies or the [00:34:00] sacrifices. And I believe that what the author is saying is, you're in the body, you're flesh, and the flesh can suffer, and the flesh does suffer, and so we should have empathy. Remember the prisoners as though in prison with them. We should have empathy and visit these people.
And we can, by extension, we can take it a little further. What about the older members of our congregation that maybe can't get out as much? We need to visit. And it's, it's not... And this is what the modern church does. "No, Pastor Mike, that's your job. Your job is to do visitations." And yes, that's part of my job, but I am not the only one tasked with that job.
I'm not the only one commanded to practice hospitality. I'm not the only one to re- commanded to remember those who are in prison. We all bear that burden So it speaks to the fact that we are still in our physical frames. And then in chapter, or verse four, he moves on to marriage[00:35:00]
And let me just ask you a, a question right up front, and I want you to think about this as we look at this verse, but how does God treat His spouse? How does God treat the church? How does God treat His spouse, and do you treat your spouse that way? Are you forgiving to your spouse? Are you loving to your spouse?
Are you understanding to your spouse? Do you practice what Paul taught us in Philippians, and do you recognize that you don't deserve your spouse? That it is a gift from God. And in terms of the theology, I think it's... This one's easy, the covenant. The coven- covenant theology is run throughout this book, and in the covenant, God, Yahweh is husband, and the church is His bride.
And now he's just playing that out. If I treat my bride this way, how ought you treat your bride? And so in chapter 13 verse four we read, "Marriage is to be held [00:36:00] in honor." And this word means valuable, precious. And just a quick word to single folks. Okay, it's not a sin to be single. It's not wrong to be single.
Sometimes that's God's calling on your life. Sometimes it's a gift. Sometimes God is teaching you something through being single. Being single, Jesus makes it very clear you can contribute to the kingdom of Christ like ways married people can't, that you have a certain freedom to serve. But throughout scripture, the default position has been married, marriage.
From the very first book of the Bible, "Be fruitful and multiply." And God brings Eve, and they're married. God marries them. God walks Eve down the aisle. That's where we get that custom from. Marriage is to be held in honor. It is to be seen as valuable. It is the foundation of every society. Without families, you do not have a [00:37:00] society.
Without families, you do not have a state. Without families, you do not have a church. It is foundational, and so it should be held in honor among all. And marriage is to be undefiled. And I will be careful, and I will choose my words, uh, carefully, but we need to know this because it's in scripture, and literally this word, the marriage bed is to be undefiled, it literally comes from the Greek word koite, where we get the English word coitus.
And so that should tell you what he's talking about. He's talking about intimacy. He's talking about the act of marriage. It ought not be defiled. He's also implying that it ought to exist. It ought to be a regular function of marriage. For fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. So clearly there was sexual license going on in the church, and he's trying to put a stop to it.
And then there was also a certain kind of asceticism that was found [00:38:00] in the early church. In 1 Timothy chapter four verse three, Paul talks about avoiding men who forbid marriage. Men who forbid marriage and advocated abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.
But apparently there was some sin going on because he refers to fornicators, and that's that Greek word pornos. We talked about that last week. In other verses, it's translated fornication. Listen to 1 Thessalonians chapter four verse three and four, and believe me, I could do a whole sermon here, so I'm restraining myself.
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification," your holiness. Getting married, if we let the apostle say what he says, getting married is one way to be holy For this is the will of God, your holiness. That is that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to possess his own [00:39:00] vessel in sanctification and honor.
Now, that word vessel refers either to the spouse or a body part Not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God, and that no man transgress and defraud his brethren in the matter, because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but for holiness
Thought I'd share with you some statistics on marriage versus living together. And I didn't do a real scientific study. I've studied this in depth in the past, and all I wanted to do is I wanted to do enough of a study to find out, are things changing? And lo and behold, they're not. Things are not changing.
Sadly, about 53% of US adults, uh... No, this is, this is the good one. 53% of US adults 18 and older are married. So [00:40:00] the majority of Americans are married. And cohabitation has pretty much stayed the same. Most Americans, 69%, say co- cohabitation is acceptable. So most Americans accept it. And yet, those who cohabitate have about 40% less wealth.
They're reported to be not as happy as married people, not as, uh, married to mar- not as active in their marriage. They don't have as much money. They don't live as long. They're not happy. And it still results in every bit as much dis- divorce or more than people who simply get married. And let me tell you something, ladies.
There is something about marriage that changes a man. And that's, that's why I think just simply approaching it from a biblical worldview, the reason that living together doesn't work is because men don't grow up until they're married. They don't. Men don't grow [00:41:00] up until all of a sudden, I've got that responsibility.
I've gotta support this woman. This woman depends on me. These children depend on me. And a good woman will bring godliness out of a man. I can't tell you the change that took place, and it was rocky at first, but when Stacy and I got married. Because I wanted to be that man that she deserved. I wanted to be the man of God that could teach her.
I wanted to be the one that could instruct her in scripture and help her understand it. That, that wasn't me before we got married Marriage does something to a man. But the Bible talks about marriage, so principle number one in marriage is monogamy, and we're probably not gonna get through all these. I didn't think we would, but principle number one would be monogamy.
We see that in Genesis chapter 1. One man, one woman for life. Jesus repeats it in Matthew chapter 5, Matthew chapter 19. It was always meant to be one man, one woman. Why did [00:42:00] God allow polygamy? Because He's gracious
But it wasn't what he wanted And interestingly enough, 'cause people will, will, people will always object, "Well, polygamy was all over the Old Testament." Actually, it wasn't. There's a handful of people, and they were usually powerful people, kings and leaders. And in just about every story, in fact, I cannot think of a single story of a polygamous relationship that there weren't problems, because that was not God's design.
Listen to this, men. Proverbs 12:4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from Yahweh." Men, we don't deserve our wives. And how many times do we come home at the end of the day and I'm tired, and my wife's supposed to cook me dinner, and you gotta put the kids down, and [00:43:00] I'm just gonna sit in the recliner, and she's been working every bit as hard as you
Do you hold her in esteem? Of course, we expect the whole marriage bed later, but we haven't earned it, 'cause somebody goes to bed really tired
There should be healthy intimacy in marriage. It's implied in this verse. We have an entire biblical book that discusses health- healthy intimacy. Read Proverbs chapter 5 when you get home tonight. It's the description of healthy intimacy. Uh, read all the warnings in Proverbs 5 through 7 of healthy intimacy.
Children Marriage leads to children. Again, that's the default. And that's not the only reason for marriage. Protestants have never believed that. There are other reasons for marriage, but children is [00:44:00] one of the default things. And listen to what Proverbs describes a child that you've actually poured your life into.
"A wise son makes a father glad. A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother." Most kids, especially in covenant homes, do not turn out foolish when you're working hard. I can't promise you that, that God is gonna save every one of your children, but typically They still, whether they, they believe it or not, they think with the Christian worldview.
They're different. There have been books, uh, written, uh, Christian Smith, I think is the name of the author. I forget the name of the book, but it was really good, and he did this study on all these college kids, and one of the things that he demonstrated is 90-plus percent of the time, our kids grow up and they exercise the same worldview that we taught them.
Yes, there are [00:45:00] times of rebellion. There are times when they, they wanna go off and do their things, but they typically return, and they typically think the way we raised them. That's biblical as well as it's found in the literature There's a structure in marriage, and I will discuss this more in the future just to, to let you know where we're, we're going.
Uh, when I finish the book of Hebrews, I'm gonna spend, I don't know, two, three, four, however long it takes, but I wanna do a series on the church and government because I don't think the church knows how it all fits together and what's important and what works and what doesn't work. How many governments are there?
Well, one government, believe it or not, is the family, is the husband and wife relationship. So just listen to the words of Ephesians 5, and I'm not gonna hold back. I, I know I've preached through this before, and I felt it at the time. I'm holding back. But listen to these words, "Wives, [00:46:00] be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord."
Now, two things. The word subject is not in that verse. It's in the verse before it, and it is common Greek practice to take the verb from a previous verse when the context demands it, and the context demands it because at the very end in verse 24, "But as the church is subject," same word, "But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything."
Now, I know this is not popular today, but to be subject is one step down from being obedient. To be subject does mean at times to obey. To be subject is a military term, and it literally means to line up under. It means that in a sense, and I know this isn't, you know, an intimate way of saying it, but there's a sense in which your husband outranks you because there's an order and there's a hierarchy in the God-designed family.
So if the marriage [00:47:00] bed is to be undefiled, if the marriage is, if marriage itself is to be held in high honor, then we need to conduct our marriages in the way that God has instructed us. And wives, that means that you submit to your husbands And then he adds another phrase, "As to the Lord." He's being pretty serious there.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head," another word that refers to rank. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ," here's the analogy, "as Christ is the head of the church." I know few Christian women that would ever argue about subjecting themselves to Jesus Christ, but they would argue about subjecting themselves to their husbands "Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is also the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is [00:48:00] subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be subject to their husbands." And then I don't have time to read it, but when we get into the government, we'll come back here.
But husbands You're to sacrifice. You're to sacrifice for your wife as Christ did for the church. And it's really easy to jump to, "Oh, I'm willing to die for my wife. I'm willing to jump in front of my wife when we're hiking and a bear comes running." But this is a day-to-day sacrifice. How, men, how do you sacrifice to your wife on a daily basis?
And if you don't know how to do it, ask. I guarantee you she's got a list And I don't mean that in a bad way There's leadership and there is submission, and it makes for a happy marriage. And we're gonna wrap it up right there. Uh, I won't get onto money and real value. We'll come back. So kids, there are some things on your handout that we haven't finished.
But I will say this, good theology leads to good [00:49:00] living Good theology leaves to good li-leads to good living. Proper theology leads to proper living. So I would exhort you, pray that the Spirit of God will apply these verses, these principles, these truths to your life. Because I don't know every single situation.
I can't make concrete application in every case. Interestingly enough, neither does the author of Hebrews. He gives us general principles. I've tried to expound those principles in the book of Proverbs to help us understand them, but the application, get on your knees when you go home and ask the Spirit of God, number one, was this truthful?
Did Pastor get it right? Do your own homework. Go to the text. Re-listen to the sermon if you have to. Look at the outlines that I've given you. I've given you most of the verses, and in tomorrow's email, I will include... It's about a 12-page thing. I went through the book of Proverbs this week, and I just started lining up different proverbs in these [00:50:00] different categories.
I will send that out in tomorrow's email. Spirit of God, did he get it right? I'm gonna go to the scriptures. I'm gonna look it up. But if he got it right, and if this is what scripture says, then please teach me how to apply this in my life. Teach me how to apply this to the specifics of my life. And then I'm gonna challenge you to do one other thing, two other things actually, and one I'm getting ahead of myself, but I'll, I'll, I'll teach you the whys next week.
Go home and memorize Psalm 118. I wish I could have gotten to that today. Go home and memorize Psalm 118. But secondly, ask your best friends, ask those who you trust, "How am I doing in these areas? How am I doing as a parent? How am I doing as a spouse? Do you like my children?" And talk to someone who will be honest with you, and then fall to your knees and ask the Spirit of God to make [00:51:00] application.
Let's pray. Father in heaven, there seems to never be enough time. But God, that's only because Your Word is rich. It is full, and we could never, ever tap the depths of it. So Father, we thank You for that. Thank You for the richness. Thank You, Lord, that sometimes maybe it stings But just as you taught us in the twelfth chapter of this book, discipline is good, and we need to be reminded.
We need to constantly be reminded, and we need to do things because we love you, because we want to bring glory and honor to you. Father, our good works don't earn us any credit. They don't earn us any higher place in heaven, so to speak. They, they-- Even our good works, Father, they're gifts from you. Even our good works stem from salvation.
It's part of the package. Father, as, as Paul commands us, help us to walk in them. Help us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Help us to take these [00:52:00] things to heart, to take them serious, and to let your Word be an X-ray machine in our lives. And Spirit of God, I pray that for each and every single man, woman, and child in this room, that you would take these words, you would take this passage, you would take the Book of Proverbs, and Spirit of God, you would examine us, and you would teach us, and you would transform us, and you would cause us to bend the knee to your Word and desire not to be pleasing to our neighbor, as much as it sounds like that's what we're being asked to do, but to be pleasing to you, to love you more than I love my wife, to love you more than I love my job, to love you more than I love my friends, to love you more than anything else.
And change my life. Change my life, Father, because we pray that you would use this church to change the world. [00:53:00] For we ask all of this through the power of the Holy Spirit, in the name of your Son, and we believe you for the answer, Lord. And all of God's people said Amen.
